~Made a slight revision based on some wonderful feedback. What do you think? Do you like Version 1 or 2 better?
~Melanie Blackwell
∞
Written for acrostic lesson #1 from http://typewriterworkshop.wordpress.comFiled under 25 Words or Less, Blogging Community, Poetry
Also on Amazon PRINT or E-BOOK http://www.amazon.com/Spectrum-Watercolored-Mrs-Melanie-Thomason/dp/1505755239
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Like both. If I must make a choice version 1.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. 1 vote for #1 🙂
Eeny meenie minee moe…this one. No the other one. No this one. Both. Neither. No the first one.
LOL ok I’ll count that as a second vote for #1. Thanks!
from your lips to God’s ears
🙂 Thanks
I like this one better. The “exempt” in the first one make me think about doing taxes.
ok, 1 vote for #2 🙂 Thank you.
Definitely #1. “Exempt from despair” is a great line. It works on many levels.
Thanks that makes 3 votes for #1 🙂
Definitely prefer #1 – Personally, I think that good poetry can be tested by reading it out loud. If the words flow, and roll effortlessly off your tongue, then it passes.
The words “eternally despair free” sounds clumsy when said out loud. It just doesn’t flow. Whereas, “exempt from despair” flows, reads and sounds beautiful.
I vote #1 🙂
P.S: who gave you that advice??
You make vote 4 for #1.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
As far as the advice…i heard from a couple people that “exempt” didn’t feel right with the rest of the piece.
No one told me to use eternally despair free… 🙂
Very nice! Thanks for sharing. Kind regards from France FGM
Thank you!