How ARE you?

Person 1: How are you?

Person 2: Fine, You?

Person 1: Fine



We do this everyday!  Why? It is a script we learned long ago.  And, anyway what would we do without these pat answers?  You may think no one really cares anyway… and sometimes that is true.

So what I am proposing is that we (you (all of you reading this) and me) STOP!

Are you fine???!  Ok, great if you are…but  some of you are far from it.  Are you sad, angry, hurting, sick, fed up?!  Are you happy, nervous, anxious, excited?  Well are you?  Say something…anything but just following a stupid script.

Oh and important part:  Do not ask someone how they are if you don’t really care to hear!


Thank you… that is all.


This has been a public service announcement (also known as a rant)  brought to you by Melanie Thomason


Filed under Rants

21 responses to “How ARE you?

  1. LOL a public service announcement. Perfect. It’s true. I think people mostly don’t care and just want a pat answer and I think a lot of people don’t want to admit that everything isn’t fine. Also, playing this game is supposed to keep us civilized and I don’t know who to tell, but that’s not working. Excellent rant.

  2. well, sometimes it’s also a catchword to engage somebody in conversation, just as a door-opener. i think intonation makes the difference. it’s along the lines of “i’m an honest person” (after studies one is lying about 200 times a day). except me 😉

    • True…it is sometimes genuine.

      And the lying thing…any time someone says “to be honest” or “To tell the truth” or “Honestly” to me i think “No, please lie….” LOL

      I’m sure it doesn’t apply to you 😉

  3. Brian

    I totally agree but with the caveat to temper the honesty a little bit. For example:

    coworker: Hi! How are you today?
    Me: anxious and panicked by the realization that death is one step closer than it was yesterday…and you?

    People don’t like facing their mortality before they’ve had their coffee.

  4. Well I was fed up today! And a little sad! Things turned out to be ok be ok so now I am relieved! Now I am tired my brain makes me tired! It thinks too much! I’m telling it to shut up and sleep now!
    I love your rant it’s true don’t ask me how I am if you don’t want to know. Hehe! 😄😄

  5. Melanie, thanks. I once was visiting friends with my mother-in-law. Someone kindly asked me how i was doing. I answered that i was a bit down. Once our friends were out of earshot she turned to me and said, “No one really wants to know how you feel. It’s just a way of being polite.”
    I was appalled! When i ask folks, i really say it from my heart. Of course, in defense of my MIl, she’s never fought Clinical Depression.

  6. I couldn’t agree more. I’ve never been able to stop myself from giving the truth!

  7. nokindofmagic

    Oh, I know one chirping nightingale who expects everyone to be giggling and happy no matter what. Hashtag be happy my a$$.

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