Tag Archives: fear

“Learn your Place” – not your typical Valentine’s Day story

This is a reblog that I posted back in 2014….

It was Valentine’s Day (sometime in the late 90’s) and since I had recently been dumped I was looking at a depressing evening at home alone.  Weighing my options I decided to go out for a couple drinks instead of staying in and consuming the ice cream consolation prize I had purchased earlier that day.

I wore the brand new, milk chocolate colored silk blouse I had bought to wear on a date that was not to be.  Screw it!  I was only going to the dive bar that was within stumbling distance of my apartment but might as well look nice.

I wasn’t there long when I noticed this big, burly guy who was just being an all-around jerk to his date.  Negative comments and general snarkiness then out of nowhere he backhands her across the face so hard that she flies into the wall.  He snarled “I said get me a beer!”  The thing is she was…she just didn’t move fast enough to suit him.

I looked around in wonder as no one, absolutely no one, made a move to do ANYthing.  I went over there without really thinking and said something really scathing (I’m sure it was, really) like “Get a life, Big Man!”  I don’t really remember what I said in all honesty but he told me I needed to learn my place and she (the woman being abused) told me to mind my own business.  Incredible.

I made my way back to my bar stool and ordered a fresh drink.  The bartender asked what I had said to the guy and said well “if looks could kill” and warned me that he was “boring holes” through my back.  I said “Oh, well… maybe he will leave her alone while he glares at me.”

And…that was that.  Nothing else transpired.

A couple drinks and a couple hours later I decided to go out for some fresh air because the cigarette smoke that permeated the place was burning my eyes.  I walked outside and leaned against the brick wall and closed my eyes. That was all it took… just a couple of seconds with my guard down.  He was there.  I never heard him come out but he was right in front of me. Ripping my shirt open, clawing at my neck, spitting venom in my face, “Bitch, I’ll show you your place” as he tried to push me behind the dumpster, to the pavement littered with broken beer bottles.  It became alarmingly clear exactly what he meant to do.  Exactly how he was going to show me my place. I wouldn’t, couldn’t let that happen.  Never Again.

I struggled to break free but he was too big, he was overpowering me.  I pulled my knife.

The knife I thought I would never use.  My best friend had given me this knife and insisted I learn how to use it…made me practice opening and using it, stabbing cardboard.  I thought it was ridiculous and only went through the motions to humor him.

Now his words echoed through my head, “Only pull it if you are going to use it.”

This guy wasn’t afraid though.  He laughed when I said “Don’t make me” and sneered “Like you are going to use it.”  He lunged at me and in the seconds before his fist met my face I stepped forward to meet him and plunged the entire blade into his stomach and twisted it before pulling it back out.

I’ll never forget the look of disbelief on his face as he reached down and felt the blood gushing through his shirt.  He said “What did you do that for?”

It was then people decided to step in to break things up.  I don’t know when people had come out but suddenly someone was taking my knife from me (which was easy enough as I was just holding it loosely staring at the blood, his blood on my hand.)  People were looking and talking and Douchbag was yelling about calling the cops.

I went inside, holding my shirt closed with one hand, and walked directly behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of vodka to douse my hand.  Then I called a cab and paid my tab and slipped out the back.  The cab got there before the police…

The next few days were agonizing.  I knew I had acted in self-defense but I had left the scene.  I had no idea what had happened after I left.  I also knew that all knife and/or bullet wounds that showed up at the ER had to be reported to the police.  I kept waiting for a knock at the door.

Then one day at work I saw my bartender of all people walking down the hall towards me.  It was surreal; I had never seen him outside of the bar… not to mention in the light of day.  He told me that when I left the guy had come in to use the phone to call the police.  He had told him that it wouldn’t be a problem but needed to do one thing first.  Then he got on the loudspeaker (normally reserved for “Last Call” announcements) and said everyone who saw this guy beating up on his girlfriend and then attacking Melanie please come to this side of the bar.”  The ensuing crowd of witnesses effectively dissuaded the call to police.

So that was that.  My knife had been cleaned and was returned to me.  As far as what happened to Douchbag… he lived.   From what we heard later he got stitched up by a friend who was a doctor.

And I, gentle reader, for a short time, was seen as a bit of a bad ass… and my drinks were free.

Melanie Thomason

***Note this was long ago and I no longer go to bars and very, very rarely get in fights. 😉 Though I do still carry a knife just in case I need it.

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Filed under Stories

unlivedin -haiku

stumbling through the days

never chasing after dreams

a life unlivedin

~Melanie Thomason

5 Comments

Filed under 25 Words or Less, haiku, Poetry, reblog

“We the People” a reblog from 2013…maybe even more applicable now

Rooster-Wake-Up

To force change on things that matter

we need more than idle chatter

to halt our dissatisfaction

It is time NOW to take action

we’ve become complacent sheeple

lets stand up for  “We the People”

thin the flock by a small fraction

It is time NOW to take action

whilst government is out to lunch

we can and should take the first punch

Revolution/ chain reaction

It is time NOW to take action

no more burying heads in sand

rise up, revolt, just take a stand

together we can gain traction

It is time NOW to take action

To force change on things that matter

It is time NOW to take action

~Melanie Thomason

sheeple3

 

4 Comments

Filed under People/Causes I believe In, Poetry, Rants

Aberration

as a child she was called an

aberration

she was shunned by all her

blood relations

treated like some sort of

vile mutation

yet that didn’t stop

incestuous molestation

she endured years of abuse

without deviation

¨

child grew to teen yet no help came for

the duration

so she had no real hope left of white knight style

salvation

she became increasingly aware of even strangers

condemnation

she began to exist in a state of

hibernation

a self-imposed

mental stagnation

¨

for her family there was no

vaccination

she even tried to slough them off through

exfoliation

hoping for loofah induced

decontamination

only red raw skin resulted

not purification

¨

while once again suffering under

grotesque gyrations

she came to startling

realization

there was only one way to

ensure cessation

she planned a different sort of

amputation

how many years would she serve for each

castration?

~Melanie Thomason

Reblog from 2013

*disclaimer no one was castrated (whether deserving or not) for the creation of this poem.

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Filed under Poetry, reblog

Left Behind

 

Leaving home was the only way  to

Extract herself/ still sane

From an environment

That was Toxic to her soul

Broken promises/ broken heart/ and all but broken bones

Endless cycle of abuse/ like a clothes dryer tumbling /with no kill switch

Hostage to their anger/ drowning /in a sea of their ignorance & spite

Innocence stolen/ self-esteem broken in half/ with a snap

No more/ she has left it all behind/ She is learning to love herself/ She is

Done with them!

~Melanie Thomason

Reblog from 2013

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Filed under People/Causes I believe In, Poetry, reblog

warden -micropoetry

The prison door is wide open

your fear is the only warden

~Melanie Thomason

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Filed under micropoetry, Poetry

Shameless

Yes…I’m promoting my book.

No…I don’t mind if you promote it too! 😉

Go ahead and blog about it, tweet it and share it on facebook 🙂

You could even read it and write a review if you’re game 😀

 

My second collection of poetry, Moonpies & Naugahyde: A Childhood Survived,  is available on Amazon. Fabulous watercolor paintings by Georgiann Carlson accompany my poems throughout, creating a book I am extremely proud of!

M&N Announcement

 

3 options available now on Amazon:

1-Full Color Edition: Watercolor Illustrations presented in Full Color

This is the way this collection is meant to be experienced!

2-Black & White Edition: Watercolor Illustrations presented in Greyscale

3-Ebook for your Kindle, iPad, etc.

→ Just click on this link!!←


OH and you can also get my first book, Spectrum: Watercolored Words

just click here!

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Filed under Books, Moonpies & Naugahyde, Poetry, Spectrum Watercolored Words

WINTERING

Originally posted in 2013. Poem with Audio 🙂

Wordifull

Wintering this body.

I wear my seperateness

like a shield from fantasy

and the fear of cold.

I know by now

one santa claus

who comes with a strange,

black gift for each of us.

I know love is real

but a fugitive from law.

That freedom’s breath is raw

and the world we think round

is shapeless after all.

~ Melanie Blackwell

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Filed under Poetry